No, you’re right.

I had my very first performance review back when I measured my life in Picas and Points. It was memorable—and not in a good way.

They said, “You’re always so reliable,” and it landed like praise wrapped around a warning. I wasn’t being seen—I was being measured for how quietly I held everything together. Then came, “You don’t need to be,” and I smiled like I believed it.

But I didn’t.

Because if I stopped being useful, would I still be allowed to stay?

That gut punch wasn’t new; it was my past disguised in corporate language. I followed rules I didn’t choose. Played roles I didn’t want. It’s called survival.

When things didn’t go well, I looked for someone to blame:

• “My teammates don’t like me.”

• “The system’s rigged.”

• “No one ever showed me how.”

Other times, I turned inward:

• “They’re going to figure me out.”

• “I just got lucky.”

• “I’m in over my head.”

Those thoughts were family heirlooms—passed down silently, fueled by fear, repeated until they felt real. They protected me, but also caged me.

But here’s the thing: I was right, either way. But the result was the same. I surrendered my power—my peace, my potential, and my permission to rest.

So maybe the question wasn’t who’s to blame. Maybe it was:

• Whose story was I still living?

• Who handed me that script?

• And why did I follow it for so long?

Comfort felt safe, but it calcified. Truth stung—but that’s what it took to wake up the parts I kept quiet.

We always choose, just not always consciously.

Now I get to choose on purpose; no longer just reacting to circumstances, but actively deciding what my story will be.

This time, I’ve chosen wisely.

And you— If you stop being who they expect you to be, who could you become instead?Choose wisely.